Friend: “insert name here” is gonna b there 2nite!
Me: eeeekkkkk are you serious?? gtg seriously not dressed for this
I was completely late because I tried on almost 10 outfits, dug around to find that new glitter lip gloss, and tried unsuccessfully to tame my hair for the next 45 minutes until it was “as good as it’s gonna get.”
We all knew the rules: Hot girls got the guys. If you were funny, bonus points- as long as you weren’t funnier than him. And a little bit of Zooey Deschanel-esque quirkiness helped too… a very little bit. Too much totally killed it.
This was what we knew and what we did. All we’d been taught is that it’s up to girls to be likable. And likewise, if a guy doesn’t like us, we’ve obviously done something wrong.
I can’t tell you the number of times that lie has talked me into being immodest, suggestive, or just plain manipulative and deceitful because I knew the end goal was to get the guy.
But here’s what I wish someone had drilled into me: I was missing the point entirely. First of all, it’s not our job to make guys fall in love with us. I was spending hours trying to make myself as attractive as possible, and sometimes I’d purposely wear a shirt that I KNEW was at best borderline… all because I wanted to catch his eye and reel him in.
God designed this man-woman relationship so that we don’t have to worry about pursuing someone- that’s our future husband’s job. To me, that’s a huge relief; we can focus on building our relationships with friends and with God. After all, relationships can only go 2 ways: You eventually break up, or you get married. Since most relationships are just going to end in heartbreak anyway, it makes sense to save yourself that drama and pain and spend that time doing something that will help other people.
But there’s something even more important that I missed in high school: What really makes people attractive. In Song of Solomon, Solomon’s wife wastes no time telling us that he’s a really hot guy! But beyond anything physical, what catches her eye the most is his CHARACTER.
Believe it or not, the popular, attractive people in your high school don’t often stay that way. Things happen… like having babies. And going bald. And eating a few too many Totino’s pizzas in college. Proverbs 31:30 says that beauty is fleeting… it goes buh-bye fast. So if you attract someone just by looking cute, who’s to say that love will last when things get tough? And if you fall for someone just because he’s handsome, you’re falling for a boy who will NOT be the leader of your family. He will not have the character to lead you closer to Christ. He will not have the integrity to stay faithful to you.
Don’t waste your time chasing things that don’t matter. Focus on letting God build your beautiful character and integrity, and wait for Him to provide you with someone who loves Jesus Christ and treats you like the princess you are!
Will you choose to let God handle your love life? I’d love for you to tweet this and let me know! “God thinks I’m gorgeous, so I’m letting Him handle finding the man for me! #authenticwomanhood” Click to Tweet This!
Can you think of any other lies the world has taught us about dating? Or do you have a success story to share on how God brought you an AMAZING husband in HIS timing? Leave a comment- we’d love to hear about it! :)